Countdown

It’s almost midnight on my last Tuesday as a single woman. Can I even use the word woman? I don’t feel like I’m old enough to have that title, yet. However, apparently I am because in exactly 3 days, 18 hours, 36 minutes, and 57 seconds, I will be walking across a bridge to the one I will spend the rest of my life. That’s a crazy thought. A very crazy thought. How in the world did this day come up so fast? It seems like only a few weeks ago this monumental day was just a blur in the distance. It’s upon me now, whether I’m ready or not. 

-Cynic Ninja

This Delicate Life

Life is fragile.

How often do you go through your day

and never realize there was a close call?

This grip we have on life is tenuous

and we aren’t even aware.

How quickly a beautiful day can turn gray.

How fast the sky can dump rain.

Tears are shed for things not understood.

Hearts hurt for those experiencing pain.

How disheartening is this way of life.

We try to control our corner of the world

but those we rub shoulders with,

we have no control.

What is the answer?

Do we put those we love in a steel cage?

Let them out only when we deem it’s safe to play?

Still, He determines the course of life,

and cage or no, life will happen according to His plan.

We have to be ready and accepting with grace.

-Cynic Ninja

Running and Writing

Running and writing are two things I can’t quit doing. Don’t let me. Running makes me feel better about myself. It gets the clutter and negative, clouding thoughts out. When I run, I am free. My mind is emptied of all the negative thoughts I shouldn’t be thinking. I drop them along the way and leave them there beside the road to wither. Go down any of my normal paths and you’ll see lots of bad stuff. Things like stupid, fat, ugly, fool, annoying, and complicated. You’ll see difficult, worthless, weird, not pretty, idiot, crybaby, average, and failure. All these and more, I drop along the side of the road. When I finish my run, I am free and ready to continue my day.     

Writing has the same effect but it happens in a different way. With writing, I deal with the thoughts. Instead of just getting rid of them, I sort them out; organize the whys and hows, the what-should-bes and find the truths. I put them down on paper. I erase and change and fix and ponder. I write some more, backspace, add, and keep writing. Why do I think this? When did I feel like that? What should I believe instead? I make sure my words say perfectly what I’m feeling and thinking and I set them free. Thoughts done. Mind clear. When I finish my writing, I am free and ready to continue my day.  

-Cynic Ninja

Different

A few quick moments snatched to write.

Not enough time left,

too much to do.

Mountains to climb.

Countries to explore.

Food to savor.

People to love.

All these can be done after,

                                                      they say.

I suppose,

                    she replied,

but it’s not the same.

Not the same at all.

It is different,

                              they replied,

           but different’s not bad.

Not bad at all.

-Cynic Ninja

....

I have less to say than I thought.





-Cynic Ninja