Vociferous Silence

Alone in a rarely empty house.

A substantial house.

The walls are talking,

a constant clamor pulsing in and out.

It pushes at my ears,

demanding my attention.

Yelling, arguing, fighting words

slam and swirl around me.

“You’re not…”

“Too…”

“You can’t…”

My mind exuberantly adds more to the chaos.

“Stupid…”

“Pathetic…”

“Idiotic…”

Do all walls talk?

Is it truly quiet anywhere?

I’ve gone from one place to the next

trying to escape this chaos,

without success.

What do you do, though,

when the clamoring racket is inside of you? 

-Cynic Ninja

Cloudy Confusion

What did I say wrong?

How did I mess up?

All this trying and

I’m still not good enough.

I’m sorry.

I’ll try harder,

run more.

Dress better,

eat less.

I’m sorry.

I won’t be so emotional.

I’ll hold the salty wet back.

I can punish myself for the mistakes;

better than anyone else can.

Don’t worry.

I’ll handle this.

I know how to injure.

Years of practice and whatnot.

I’m sorry.

But, what did I do?

-Cynic Ninja